It is Mother’s Day today. A day that is still surreal to me. Bittersweet, full of smiling happy moments, shared joy and laughter, and great memories.
Surreal, because it still blows me away that I still feel so young, and have 3 children. Two GROWN children, and our Cub.
I always wonder when this feeling will go away? Hello…I feel 20, so where did I get this almost 20-year old boy? Enter Jeffrey into the World. I still remember every single detail of his birth. I was so young. Scared out of my mind. Wondering if I would even know “how” to be a mother. What I soon realized was that as young as I was, that maternal instinct would just kick in when it needed to. That this scared little girl that was barely my son’s age now, could and would grow this kid into the amazing young man that he is today. Of course Greg had nothing to with it. HAHA!
This precious baby boy, who is now on the verge of turning 20, has taught me as much about life as I did him. Time flies. And now this kid is all grown up, living on his own, will be finished with his first degree in 3 months and is the owner of his own marketing company. What I learned from him was kindness, honesty, determination, calmness, a lot of laughter, and how to grow up when I needed to. This tiny baby boy now towers over me, and hugs onto me, like I am the baby! So proud of you Jeffrey.
Then came Mariah. My sweet-faced little girl in pink. She was so soft, and beautiful, and dainty. I wanted her in bows and dresses, which she detested and soon told me, that she was “no girly-girl” She is athletic, and strong. A lover of all things. Even used to get on the ground to try and kiss spiders when she was young. (I have pictures to prove it) I learned that Mariah was going on her own path at a young age. She didn’t want to be caged in. She taught me what being strong-willed was all about!!! When I see her, it’s like looking in a mirror. My passionate, stubborn self, looking straight back into my eyes. She is beautiful inside and out, has a brilliant mind, very free spirited and care- free. She is SO caring, and so loving. She has taught me to “not sweat the small stuff, and on occasion (many occasions) to pick my battles, and also patience, patience, patience. She definitely took me on the ride of my life. We have laughed into the wee hours of the night together. And cried on one another’s shoulders. She kept me on my toes, as a toddler, and certainly as a teenager, and now is growing into such an amazing adult. She will be starting her 2nd year of college in the fall, and will be leaving home. Not just moving out, but away. This is where the heartbreak really begins for me as a Mother, because she has become one of my closest friends.
And….our Cub. Allegra. Allegra means “Exuberantly cheerful” and she has lived up to her name. Always smiling, always laughing. She laughs and giggles about everything. She is artistic, and creative. Has a huge heart, and is extremely caring and sensitive. As a baby, she was my “snuggly” and still is. She showed me how relax, and see the World through the eyes of a child. Watching her react to things, such as walking on the lawn for the 1st time was amazing. Every day for Alli is an adventure. She looks at life with great expectations and wonder. She loves learning. Traveling and seeing new cultures. Trying new things. Definitely has her own style, and doesn’t like “fitting into the box.” She taught me to S L O W down, don’t rush the wonderful. Look, try, and see new things. To learn something new everyday. To be “fearless” which she tells me often. She is huggy, and mushy! Loves being the baby of our family, even though she is growing into an amazing young lady. She is smart, and witty, and always ready to make someone laugh. She is very goofy, and full of life. A dreamer. Adventurous.
Motherhood may be one of the hardest things I have ever endured. It has had its ups and downs, ins and outs. It has changed every single fiber of my being. It is waking up every day, going into the unknown, the uncharted territory, out of bounds and out on a limb. It has stretched me to my limits. I don’t know of another thing in this World that can make you so furious, rip your heart out, make you feel so vulnerable, bring you so much joy, but so many tears, make you stronger, feel more loved or bring you more joy, and laughter than motherhood. It has been the most wonderful experience of my life. I cannot imagine what my life would have been without my kids and what they have taught me. I would never be the strong, courageous woman I am today, if not for them. Each individual. Unique. Each a precious gem.
Always makin' me proud! HAHA!
~~I love, and am so blessed by you three, Jeff, Mariah and Allegra. Thanks you, not only today, but every day for showing me what life is all about. You have each breathed so much joy and greatness into my life. You have taught me unconditional love and how to laugh at myself. I have adored every second of this journey we have been on together. I love you.