My husband is out of town. It’s like a shift in the Universe. My schedule has to mold into a different shape. My partner in crime, no longer here for a few days to help out. My teammate has left the field.
My independence comes out after the initial changes. I soon realize that I can do what I want with these few days. Eat popcorn and sherbet for dinner in bed with my snuggly cub, workout when I feel like it, monopolize the DVR shows, stay up until dawn reading without feeling like I might disturb him with my book light. My workouts vary. Missing a class this morning, only to get in a fabulous long run. I work out hard, mad with his travel, and then hit that runners high, feeling on top of the World and then into almost tears from my achy heart. It’s only a couple of days.
It is a muscle, the heart. It feels a little weak and torn down when his office sits empty.
My morning coffee, cold in the pot, and not on my night stand first thing.
The trash…oh yah, put the trash on the curb. I think I hear the truck.
Will I have to GET GAS in my car? The horror!
Did I feed the dogs?
Things I think about on my run. Then I let the mental list go. And just run!
Today I ran, thinking about running in Central Park, where he is. I am running hard. Hills. Angry, New York City, music pumping through my IPod. I felt strong. Imagine I am running in a Nike commercial. I am drenched in sweat and heat and humidity. My legs become heavy, tight with tired muscles, and I push just a tiny bit more. I love when my run feels like that!! I love when I can visualize so much that I can hear the traffic, smell the city. And when I stop, my body is completely used up. With nothing left.
Now, I have an entire day to my self. Girls are gone, Grandma is picking up today from school for a little celebration! This is the unhinged moment, because as much as I miss the G, I also adore these days as well.
Showered off of sweat after my Central Park run, there is silence. Absolute silence. Time to read, bake some goodies, try out some new recipes, have some great prayer time, talk to an old friend, walk my Yorkie, lay on my living room floor at my back door when the sun is just right, streaming through the window to heat my skin, take a bubble bath.
A whole day of me!
I do sneak a few peaks into his office….